Read all the way to the end:
The FDA has announced that there is no more diabetes. Right on the heels of the newly released, non-invasive blood glucose monitoring device (Glucobeam TM), people who have diabetes can finally put the disease to bed forever. Glucobeam TM was released only one month ago, and provided blood glucose readings by laser beam. People with diabetes throughout the world were raving about this new invention, because they no longer had to draw blood to find out how things were going.
Now people with diabetes don’t have to worry about any of it. Yesterday, the FDA announced a new potion that cures diabetes. Approximately six months ago, a team of people who were hired to clear out the former home of Elliott P. Joslin, MD, in Charlton, Massachusetts, found some papers in a desk drawer. These papers were taken to the Joslin Diabetes Center in Boston. Diabetes research and health care professionals studied the papers and discovered instructions for creating a potion that would cure diabetes. Joslin had apparently come up with this idea before he died in 1962.
The research team at the Joslin Diabetes Center, along with their colleagues at major diabetes centers throughout the United States and the world, immediately went to work on this potion. Yesterday the potion was approved by the FDA and is now available to all people with diabetes – for free. Six major pharmaceutical companies, which formerly manufactured and sold diabetes medications, have come forward with funding to produce and distribute the diabetes cure to anyone who wants it.
Call 1-822-123-4567 to reserve a dose today. Disclaimer: only two people have tried the potion so far.
Today’s prompt was “Miracle Cure.” At first I struggled with this one, but then I just had fun with it. Clearly, this is a fictitious post.