So this happened to me (and my daughter). I don’t know whether to feel embarrassed, upset, or just shocked. Because this is what I talk to patients and students about all the time – advocating for ourselves (and our patients).
I took my daughter to a routine appointment and had a conversation with the nurse about an upcoming vaccine. We agreed to wait until next year. When I joined my daughter in the exam room, the provider said, “I’m a big fan of getting that vaccine today, so let’s go ahead and do that, ok?”
Sure, I could have asked her to slow down and explain the rush. I also could have said “no, I already discussed this with the nurse and we’re going to wait.” But it happened so fast, and with such authority, that I simply said, “Ok.”
Then I looked at my daughter and she was angry! I realized that I had an opportunity to teach my daughter by example how to advocate for herself. So when the nurse came in with the vaccine, I asked her about it. She admitted she was confused because she thought we were waiting, so when the provider came out and said we were ready, she thought we’d changed our minds. I explained that I felt strong-armed and that we really did want to wait.
Later I explained to my daughter that in situations like that we have to slow down and process what’s going on. Then we can take the opportunity to advocate for ourselves if we don’t feel comfortable with what’s happening. I told her emphatically that I did not say no to the vaccine to get her out of a “shot” – she will have it next year. I said no to the vaccine to show her how to advocate for herself in an intimidating (health care or any other) situation.