This morning I looked in the mirror and I saw an older version of a younger me. It’s funny because I don’t necessarily feel older (except when I’m tired), and I sometimes still act young (immature?).
I loved turning forty, because it felt like I was finally an adult. Personally and professionally, I felt better equipped to express myself and to go after what is important to me (maybe not all the time). My 35th anniversary with diabetes (which happened at 42) was significant for me. I still had the energy to contemplate 35 more (and then some).
Looking in the mirror, I wonder what I’ll look like in 10, 20, 50 (?) more years. I don’t feel as if I look any different from when I was 20, yet how do I look to others? To my kids? Recently I saw a photo of myself when my first child was a baby. That’s when I realized my look has changed. I looked like a kid!
I’ve gotten comments about diabetes making me look young, and I know people with diabetes who look young. Physiologically, it doesn’t make sense for diabetes to make us look young, since what’s happening in our bodies when our blood glucose is elevated should actually make us age faster. Consolation prize?
I’ve pondered whether I’ll color my hair when the grays start taking over. Or will I buy skin products that claim to reverse aging? I don’t really know, but as of right now I’m good with the process (as long as it stays gradual).
Looking in the mirror has me thinking about aging. Thinking about aging makes me think about aging with diabetes. What will happen when menopause really hits? Will I continue exercising forever? It’s good to think about these things, but I’m not going to dwell on them. I’m going to live in the present and enjoy.