If you’ve been reading my blog posts with any consistency, you’ve probably noticed that I have a little language thing going on. About twenty years ago I realized the importance of language. There are many, many judgmental words and phrases used in health care, and people with diabetes hear them so often that maybe they don’t even realize it. I sometimes wish I were oblivious to these words, but it’s so in my face that I’ve decided to continue to work on it.
One of those words is “should.” My goal is to use person-centered (put the person, not the disease, or numbers, or anything else, first when speaking) and strength-based (use words and phrases that build people up, and don’t tear them down or judge them). “Should” doesn’t accomplish this goal. I once heard a friend say, “no one likes to be ‘should’ on.”
The other day I saw a web link titled “9 Foods You Should Eat for Diabetes” and I immediately came up with this blog post idea: “9 Reasons I Don’t Respond to Things That Say ‘Should’.” So now I will come up with those 9 reasons:
1. I immediately see a giant thumb pushing down on me.
2. Someone else is telling me what to do, rather than informing/supporting me.
3. I am so focused on seeing ‘should’ that I have no interest in the actual content of the article/link.
4. I imagine the 9 foods are nothing I’m interested in eating.
5. I immediately feel judged – as if I’m doing/have done something wrong.
6. I feel that I am not in charge.
7. I don’t trust information from someone who would ‘should’ on me.
8. It makes me feel tired.
9. It’s just very negative and doesn’t feel good.
I should stop now. 🙂